Monday, September 12, 2016

During the summer while i was away i went to the radio city christmas spectular christmas in august kickoff here in manhattan i love everything about nyc and events and the love of radio city and the rockettes and everything it was a fun event got to meet a rockette 2 rockettes who gave me lemonade rockettes are not only good dancers but great people it was a hot summer day but i didnt care the show was really nice and cute i even met santa who anncouned that tickets went on sale they are at radiocity.com its a fun show and the musical numbers they did on that day were awesome jingle bell rock and many others its truly heartwarming and amazing and i cant wait to see the christmas specutlar this november you know ill always love you xoxo-Stephanie :)

btw- new youtube vlog titled college a fresh start will be up later tonight techincal diffulities at the moment .


Leave me a comment below on what is your favorite part of summer 16 and or event or anything in general i dont bite we are all full of love

college a fresh start yes im alive :)


Monday, August 8, 2016

My new life of peace and being at home (analogy)

  Its feels weird being at home waking up and realizing my new freedom waking up and realizing i dont have to go to walk threw the halls of bs anymore or see any of their faces waking up and hearing my phone silent as a mouse no texts no phone calls from the people i used to talk to its very quiet it doesnt ring and im shocked months and even years hearing that phone ring and a text and now its slient now its quiet ''im free i tell my self every morning'' after a almost a decade of bullying tortument endless nights endless mornings in that horrible school no more hearing the shouts the noises the hypocrite faces of the people its all over i found my self friday leaving work with just a cup of coffee in the park all by my self ive been doing good with the healing process alot of my former classmates are struggling and people from high school i dont care anymore i just dont give a rats ass about anything that has to deal with high school anymore im just done done with all the bullshit and the people associated with it i thought i share you a picture of my favorite park i call freedom park
i remember the last day of high school as the memories start to fade away the last thing i remember as i left the school in the bus all i can think about was the ride home and a book a good book to read to help me clear my thoughts out it seemed weird it seemed numb but it was finally over and everything has its limit and my limit had been reached the bus driving away and seeing those faces for one last time driving away in a sleepless state on a rainy day it had rained for a reason it was the signficance of a end to a nightmare and to a fresh start :)

Sunday, July 24, 2016

Recovering from a nightmare Im ok :)

 I sit in the bedroom chatting with my cousin and my former English teacher online it has been a month since i graduated high school a month since my nightmare ended but soon after the nightmares and anxiety attacks began the fear the crying the wanting to get out of my own body the time i wished  i had stayed home from school and left my phone there the days where i couldn't function in the right away it has been a month since I've been dealing with anxiety attacks paranoia all of that ''you have a good heart Stephanie'' my old friend Stephanie would tell me you have a big heart it has been two years since i had broke off the friendship with her and we had gone separate ways she had moved away during that period of time i had suffered a depression but shortly got over her and began to move on just like I'm starting to make progress and moving on from a nightmare my old friend donte from high school texts me when he hears about my anxiety attacks and paranoia '' Stephanie Vanessa was a coward for doing what she did she had wanted to talk to you on the last day of school before her death and she didn't she was a coward for doing for what she did to you shes gone now you got nothing to worry about''! i feel another sign of relief even though she had died just a few weeks back i still had been scared of getting another text from her or anyone she knew but clearly i had scared them off no more texts my English teacher tells me its seems to be over you can move on from that chapter of your life high school is a wrap you don't have to see or talk to anyone you don't want to.  My anxiety starts to calm down and i no longer think I'm gonna die from it when you gone threw it for 4 weeks straight waking up like your body jumped out of a horror movie it can be scary I'm being surrounded by the love and support of my family my mom who has been there for me since day one of the attacks and held on to my hand when i had wandered around mentally unbalanced in paranoia and got sent to the emergency room where the doctor calmed me down.  I'm home surrounded by my family and my old friend Jazmin from school who i connect with online she has been there for me since day one my English teacher who had wished she could have stopped the pain from day one when she had heard what was happening if i go back i would have told her i would have never brang my phone to school i would have just kept it home and safe i had friends text me but i had never had traumatizing texts. I'm making a full recovery by the end of the summer it takes time Stephanie my mom says it takes alot of time within time you'll be able to forget about what had happened to you and her you have a new life its time to move on after endless messages and support i wanna say thank you and that I'm recovering still have a little anxiety from my chest but it'll go away i hope one day i can truly forget about the texts and the cowardliness of Vanessa and the other girls that took part of it i wanna one day forget about high school the 2 people who i still kept in contact with are my old English teacher who's right its time to move on and my old friend Jazmin I'm doing ok i have a little light headed and uncomfert in my chest but its going away thank you and ill be making a full recovery soon :)

Send love and prayers tonight -Stephanie

Wednesday, July 13, 2016

top eight movies to watch on date night

1. White chicks- if your looking for a really cool amazing comedy that's not all about romance and has a lot of funny scenes I recommend white chicks its one of my favorite I've seen this movie so many times that I've memorized almost every line one of my favorite lines cant pr ounce yet is when Marcus (Marlon wayans character) comes in in the beginning of the film and is has that Spanish saying the ice cream scene/cop bust is one of my favorites out of the many scenes in this movie white chicks is a must for that I don't want to watch a romantic movie on date night but want a good movie.




2. The social network- The movie about face book its really cool movie that's not too cliche and perfect to see how one of the most popular social networks so popular its getting annoying when people mention it way too many fucking times its still a good movie and worth watching with pizza and popcorn.


3. The vow- This one of my favorites its based on a true story and it shows how one is willing to go threw a tragic accident and their love still stands strong despite memory loss its one of the perfect romantics to sit down at night cuddled on the couch with your princess/prince and with all the lights out it shows how strong love is and one of the best romantics that's has struggles but doesn't end tragically and sadly.


4. The hunger games- One of my favorite movies this movie is not just for teens but for everyone it shows one's survival and courage to survive a war and not only that but to survive love and make a choice with love always will be teem peeta the hunger games is one of the best films ever made and its perfect for any night.


5 Not cool- This might be a holiday movie but its perfect for a winter date and its from one of my favorite you tubers Shane Dawson not cool shows the different crazy emotions of love its the best and from the one of the best directors.


6. Me late chocolate- This is also a favorite of mine its from the Latin community but its still a must its a funny romantic comedy that also deals with supernatural its a funny comedy.


7.  The lucky one- Its a really good romance with one of my favorite authors Nicholas sparks and its also a really good romance that teaches everyone different lessons of love.


8 The fast and the furious- One of the best action movies ever and starring one of the best actors Paul walker rip its amazing and its sequels are amazing too a movie that's of the best action packed.


I hope you enjoyed my list for the top eight movies to watch on date night and these movies are also on Netflix and hulu they are amazing and are perfect to watch on a date that date when you grab microwave popcorn soda and bunch of junk food and sit down on the couch with just the two of you and watch movies for endless hours and to sit down and have a glass of grape wine and make a toast a toast to love and life.  If you do see any of these movies on a date night you may leave a comment below I hope you enjoyed this blog post




                                       you know ill always love you Xoxo-Stephanie




Ps-I'm still taking any questions for ask steph leave a comment below it could be about anything even about my story that I shared which did really happen I'm open to any questions you may leave them in the comments below I'm also taking questions from my twitter @precioussteph98 don't be afraid to ask away love you :)

Monday, July 11, 2016

a story of hope healing from a taco bell nightmare

         Its been since april since I seen ''his'' face since I came out of my old job at the senior center and saw a car coming down the block as I exited the building and prepare to go home as I said to my co workers and my boss kate bye and walked out of the building into the parking lot I'm walking and suddenly I hear a car thumping coming down the block I walk and I came across the end of the block the black car parks and ''him'' walks out of the car as he is driving down the block he says ''hi Stephanie'' He had worked at my favorite childhood place called taco bell a childhood place that became a unbelievable nightmare till this day if I walk into a taco bell or near it I could get a attack anxiety panic I haven't walked into a taco bell in almost two years and I don't plan to step into one ever again. A place meant for eating a place meant for hanging out turned out to be a another place called hell just saying taco bell makes me sick to my stomach and nausus. He walks out of the car angry I didn't respond he says hi Stephanie again he said something else I don't remember much expect being scared out of my mind hes angry hes angry because everytime hes come near my job I don't respond I get scared hes leaves his car parked and I head towards whats known as underdonk ave I pick out my phone he disappears I call my mom later that night we head into the police prescient by my house we make a report I sit down as I tell the police whats going on a cry for help I start telling the officer everything '' how did he know you how did you meet him''? the officer asks.
  '' I used to eat at taco bell here in myrtle'' '' I once told my him for my order but that's it I thought it was like starbucks Ive been seeing him around my job hes gets mad when I don't respond I've been scared to call the cops '' I say in panic mood and in relief knowing I'm siting with a cop and I'm safe and sound after I write that report he tells me its gonna sent to the prescient by my job since that's in queens I breathe a sigh of relief as I exit the prescient on a spring night '' its over my mom tells me. '' him'' cant hurt you anymore.
  it all started in the summer of seventh grade part of my life was calm my sister had a amazing boyfriend who had a great influence on her and on my family life too I had been going threw a rough patch but I felt safe knowing I had family on my side. All my life I had loved taco bell since I was a little girl I would never imagine it would turn into a living nightmare. I live near a area called wood it conists of many stores and is near one of the hoods in Brooklyn growing up here I loved here it felt safe despite all the bad stuff I had never been hurt I never fucked with anyone.  A nice dude had taken my sisters order that nice dude would later turn out to be a crazed manic and stalker a few years later.  After me and my sisters left taco bell that I day I walked to come back I never understood why my oldest sister hated taco bell and my dad too now I understand and have a deep hatered for it.  over the next years I would stop going to taco bell until my sophomore year of high school but my crazdd stalker wasn't there but I would go and eat their grillers despite my dads hatered I would try to go when he wasn't around I had no idea what was about to come. One summer night 2 years ago in 2014 I had started going in the evening I wanted to see the sunset I was out on the streets at night till about 8pm before I eventually got off the streets some nights whenever I felt lonely I would walk around and on several occuasions I had started going to taco bell that's when I met my crazed stalker face to face I would order he had nice tone he would give me free food that wasn't part of my order I didn't pay attention to the signs I thought nothing bad would bad could happen since this was my childhood place he didn't know what to call me so he would call me churro girl. I kept going back one day per week I had been dealing with some rough stuff at home had no job was out of school for the summer yet I didn't know that was leading me into the hands of a creep one day I told my name for my order ''stephanie'' I said as I ordered I kinda wish I had lied and said something like banana or none of your business as my name maybe that would have prevented so much.  taco bell stands in the middle of the block in myrtle so its always full of people no one ever seemed to notice that crazed man creepy attuide his name carlo also known as ''him'' I want people to know what happened to me I want people to know so it wont happen to others.
  one of the last summer days he hands me a free freeze I don't pay mind until he starts stalking me just 2 yrs later a foreshadowing event just a year before would start a chain of events.  One rainy day after school near the end of the junior year I was happy and wanted to take a happy walk I had no gym memberships and barely spoke to my sisters not as much as before but I had a friend named myriam Stephanie and that evening I made a panicked call.  I was going for a walk when it started to rain I went into taco bell where the crazed manic had been working that night he panicked went really sad and angry when he saw me he had one of those omfg I hate you fits as I recall I didn't do anything I just wanted to eat my quesadilla why why is he doing this why the fuck is this taco bell worker being such a asshole? It had give me thought now I understand some of the uncomferatble feelings my older sisters would have and esicaplly my dad and my oldest sister.
I remember running out of there in panic its raining I called my older sister and she calmed me down I also called my friend myriam she calmed me down and I was happy she had invited me out the next day I would meet my old friend bobby. After that I wouldn't see him until he became my crazed manic stalker on the fall into the spring of my senior year.  It was November I had just got a job transfer to work at a senior center I was calm life was becoming happy I was about to graduate high school soon be off on the road to college. it started frequently i would come out of work and his car would be siting there at the end of the block at work where i would go he would be siting there frequently almost everyday at the same time when i would come out from work i wouldn't say hi some days he would come of the car and walk around the circle of the block on onderdonk ave i was scared angry everytime i would see him my mom didn't know neither did my dad or any of my folks not even my teachers at school could tell i was a pretty good actress at hiding feelings. There was one day when my oldest sister just a mere month before my stalker would be cought had dropped a glass cup in the hallway out of the blume that day i would eventually confess about what had been going on with my stalker to my mom she had told me if i had seen him again to call the cops.  3 weeks later on a april day i had seen him it was the day he was coming down the block of my job i could still hear that thumping noise of the car coming down the road of that angry face appoarching me ive been healing since then and had dating issues until now after i finally feel ready to date and now one day when my boyfriend here is my stalker story hell understand why I'm so hesitant to start friends with people who work at those places and how the only friends i would want are not from by those places.  that day when my crazed stalker was finally cought i could remember the night of the prescient the next day when i got a phone call one night saying that i had if he were to ever show up again that to call 911 i had still been scared but after that i remember one day before my last day of work i had no longer seen that car i saw a police car parked instead what happened? i hadn't seen him since then i assumed he either got cought by police from another girl but i don't step into a any taco bell even the ones in manhattan you got to be careful and like my dad says life is no fairytale. its been since that april since ive seen him and i hope hes behind bars i spent these months healing and healing from high school as well i want my message out there i want people to know what happened to and to never let happen again. I'm feel like I'm ready to have a healthy relationship with a guy and also be able to have a physical relationship as well I'm also feel ready to start new friendships as well. Life is all about healing and I'm finally ready for a fresh start after not a only high school and middle school nightmare but a taco bell nightmare.

Sunday, July 10, 2016

leave q's for a ask steph

 Hi everyone I hope your having a great start to a amazing splendid lazy sunday i hope its relaxing and beautiful and just amazing next Friday i want to do a ask Steph where i answer any question you might have whether its about love life food even the weirdest things i wanna answer your question you can ask it anomously if you like this is a judge free zone and we are free to be anything we want to be and you are free to ask me anything you like i hope you leave some amazing questions below I'm also taking questions from twitter as well @precioussteph98 i love you all and ask away.




                                                        you know ill always love you Xoxo-Stephanie :)